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This is what happens to an autistic child who doesn't feel a lot of pain.  He gets bitten by ants and can't feel it happening.  So he can have ants crawling all over his body and not feel it until it starts to itch.

Look how red his shoulders, neck and ears are.  The white stuff is baking soda; he soaked in a bath with it and it helped.

I had heard from an adult with Asperger's that her memories are very vivid.  She mentioned the death of her dog.  She said that when she thought of when her dog died, she would feel the emotions that she felt as strongly as she did at the moment.  Can you imagine your feelings being so strongly attached to memory?  Can you imagine feeling all the pain as if you were experiencing it again?  On the flipside, the happy memories are there too.  I think that's why my son feels so content at my parents' house.  He has only known happiness there.  My parents make a special effort to make his life easy there.  Also, he can sit there for hours laughing while he's thinking of funny things that have happened. 

This post is about my opinion on things having to do with autism. 

When Jenny McCarthy came out with her first book, I was dismayed.  She claimed her son was cured of autism.  I thought by coming out with that she was setting some parents up for failure.  The methods she used to help her son are not necessarily going to help everyone.  I also think that there's no cure of autism.  Autism's symptoms can diminish, but it takes a lot of work.  My son can converse with people but it doesn't mean he doesn't have communication problems.  I'm thrilled that she was able to help her son to such a level, I just think she shouldn't have been touting it as a cure.

I am thrilled with all the attention autism has received in the past years.  Autism Speaks is an organization that has come to be because of the attention.  It's a great organization that raises funds for research.  It's this research that worries me.  They are looking for a cure.  They are looking for the gene that causes autism.  I think once they find that gene, we'll start testing for that gene marker.  What happens when you have it?  Will it be like the screening they do for Down's?  How many babies will die from that?  Also, instead of just raising money for research, I wish these organizations would raise money to help families pay for therapy.  There are so many children out there who would benefit from certain therapies such as ABA.  However, it costs a bundle.  Some children require 40 hours a week of ABA.  It costs too much money. 

I am blessed to have good insurance.  I don't like our hospital system, but I do like that our insurance company pays for Brother's therapies.  We are enrolled in an extended program that pays for his ABA therapy. 

Now, remember, these are just my opinions.

When Brother was diagnosed with autism, I felt grief.  I grieved for him.  I grieved for his sisters.  I grieved for Ben.  And, yes, I grieved for myself.  The life I had envisioned for all of us was going down the toilet.  I didn't know what the future held for him.  I just knew it would be harder than for a neurotypical child.  That initial intense grief is no longer there, but I still grieve for him.  I do when he is ignored by children.  I do when something so simple is difficult.  But, I can't focus on the cannots too much.  It wouldn't be fair. 

There's the joy too.  The joy of watching him take care of his youngest sister.  My heart melted the other day when he took charge of Pumpkin and held her hand in the parking lot.  The joy of watching him learn to ride a two wheel bike.  The joy of watching him understand a joke.  The joy of seeing emotion in his face.  The joy of an unsolicited "I love you, Mom."  I don't know about other 10 year old boys, but mine still climbs into my lap.  Now, that's joy.

We still have a lot of challenges ahead of us.  He has to get through puberty.  He wants to learn to drive (ack!).  We still have a lot of work to do to make him into an independent adult.  But, one thing I have learned over the years is that we can't do it alone.  It has only been by the grace of God that we have come this far.