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When my son was 2, we moved from Texas to Missouri.  There were many changes going on in his life.  We were leaving the only home he had ever known and his father was home.  He started to repeat things incessantly.  I noticed it first when we were driving to Missouri. 

I didn't even know what it was that he was doing until he was about 6.  He would repeat phrases he had heard from me and from TV over and over.  He did talk to me but our conversations were not what you'd call normal.  He would repeat things but original conversation didn't occur very often.  This is all in hindsight.  I didn't at the time realize what a problem this was.  I beat myself up over it all the time.  

He doesn't repeat things often now unless he's feeling stress or anxiety.  I can catch it and try to help him.  Also, he will repeat a question back to me when he is unsure of himself.  

I had a psychologist once say to me in his effort to change my mind about homeschooling that his echolalia was happening because he was lonely.  I had already dismissed almost everything he had told me but this helped solidify my opinion of him. 

Before I talk about anxiety, I wanted to talk about how autism is a spectrum disorder.  Brother is on the high end of the spectrum.  He missed an Asperger's diagnosis by one thing, his language skills.  However, his problems are many and varied.  He just functions better than some.  Because autism is a spectrum disorder, not everything Brother has issues with will be a problem for another person on the spectrum.

Anxiety has always been with Brother.  I was never able to leave him for the evening for a night out.  I'd spend weeks reassuring him and it was not worth what we all had to go through after.  Last year, I began leaving him with Ben for the evening once a month for a knitting night.  He spent the first few times awake and would not go to sleep until I came home.  Gradually, he has been able to fall asleep without me in the house.  It is a big step for him.  His anxiety got the better of him, but he's been able to conquer a bit of it.  It has helped that we've been in this house for longer than 2 years.  That's the longest we've ever lived anywhere.  We have been in this area for longer than that, but we were in a rental before. 

He also gets very anxious before big holidays.  For while, the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas were filled with sleepless nights and lack of appetite.  He would look gaunt by the time Christmas rolled around.  His anticipation turns into anxiety.  He's getting better as he's maturing. 

Another thing that has helped is living near my parents.  They are an anchor for him.  We have to visit so he can calm himself periodically.  If we go too long between visits, his behavior starts to suffer. 

I worry about what his behavior will be like when Ben deploys, but I know it won't be as bad as it would have been had we moved away from this area.  He would've suffered greatly if we left Texas. 

 The face of autism.

When we listen to people talk, we can hear everything quite well.  People with auditory processing difficulties cannot hear everything they listen to.  I can be talking to Brother and he appears to be listening, but what he is hearing is not anything close to what I'm saying.  He, at times, hears static instead of the words I am saying.  I read a book written by an autistic adult that explained this.  I had Ben read it so he could understand more fully the obstacles Brother faces. 

The best thing for me to do is catch his attention physically.  I usually touch his shoulder or grab his hand.  I often forget to do this and end up very frustrated.  He is high functioning so I have a tendency to forget his greater struggles.  I'm very fortunate that he's such a loving forgiving child.

Brother's social skills aren't up to par but he has improved quite a bit in the past three years.  He converses with people and for the most part can communicate correctly–meaning with a give and take instead of a monologue.  However, he cannot pick things up intuitively.  He doesn't see that the person he is talking to is bored with his choice of conversation.  He can drone on and on with questions about particular subjects that are not of interest to the other person.  It is painful to watch.  It's painful to watch him because he's so oblivious and it's painful to see that others see him as a burden.  They are very nice but I can read faces whereas he cannot.

Other times kids have ignored him when he talks to them.  He gets called names like weirdo but he doesn't understand that it's not a good thing.  His sisters love him and enjoy him and it's such a blessing.  I know it can be hard for them as well, but they've grown up with him and can interact with him quite well. 

He doesn't get jokes or sarcasm.  When he wants to make up a whole bunch of knock-knock jokes, I want to cover my ears and run.  It's soooo hard to listen to them.  But, when he makes one up that's funny and he knows it's funny, it's wonderful.  For that moment, all is working right.