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Short-Timing It

We are in the midst of a countdown.  The kids don't even know.  I'm feeling like a short-timer.  With the end in sight, I'm losing it.  I'm trying to hold it all in.  I have already before 9am yelled at my children.  Although, how many times do I have to tell them to get ready for the day before they comply?  

Ben will be home soon.  I'm hoping before the end of next week but that's a really conservative estimate.  He should be home sooner.  Until then, I am trying to keep a level head.  The weight of being a single parent with a spouse in a war zone though seems to have gotten heavier.  After all, our friend, Dave, was two weeks out from returning home before he was killed.  

And, the single parent thing.  Need I say more?  It's not even the physical caring of the children.  That's hard too.  It's the mental load of taking care of it all.  It's been 8 months.  I'm ready to be finished.

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14 responses to “Short-Timing It”

  1. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    I think it was Padre Pio who said that we spend too much time essentially flogging ourselves over our mistakes; instead, dust off right quick and move on. It’s so much easier to forgive yourself when you don’t allow yourself to steep in your mistakes (I do the same thing – hard to break the habit).
    Hang in there, my sweet friend. Your heart WILL be light again!

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  2. Fuzzy Avatar
    Fuzzy

    I am so excited for you! I know how hard the last few days can be. I will offer some prayers for you, and the safe return of Ben!

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  3. Jennifer Newbury Avatar
    Jennifer Newbury

    Praying for you KC. You are a wonderful mom and dedicated wife….your in the home stretch. Give yourself a break and know that it’s okay that you are feeling like this…I know I worry about the same things. I will pray extra prayers for Ben’s safe return. God bless you my friend.
    Jennifer N.

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  4. Paula Avatar
    Paula

    I can’t believe it’s been eight months since I added you to my prayer list. Wow. Hugs and more prayers!

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  5. Charlotte (Matilda) Avatar
    Charlotte (Matilda)

    Praying you through these last few weeks! Hang in there!

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  6. joann10 Avatar
    joann10

    Sending prayers, KC…..hopefully they will help over these next days….

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  7. Carmen Avatar
    Carmen

    KC- I am so excited for you and the children!!! Praying for you all as these last days are sooooo wierd! I was an emotional wreck the day Wil came in. He came in late evening, and the whole day was filled with tears and excitement and happiness and sadness and…. its just weird. But– the new normal is coming! press on, KC, you have done so well!

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  8. Maia Avatar
    Maia

    Thank you for this honest, beautiful post. You family is in my prayers!

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  9. Jennifer in TX Avatar
    Jennifer in TX

    Prayers for you KC as you await the return of your dh. I can only imagine the difficulty of these last days. Hugs!

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  10. Ute Avatar
    Ute

    If it helps you: you are not alone! I think every spouse of a deployed soldier gets through that. My husband returned from Iraq (11 months) YESTERDAY, and I can’t tell you how many tears of relief I’ve cried since. I’ve also been increasingly worried in the end. It’s not over until it’s over. Although I knew the last week that he was on his way home and not pulling duty anymore, I couldn’t relax until the plane had landed and the buses had arrived.
    I’ll be praying for you to keep your sanity these last few days!

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  11. Lynn B Avatar
    Lynn B

    These last days must be so hard. I’ll pray for you and for your dh’s safe return too! We thank him and all of you so deeply for the sacrifices you have made on behalf of all of us. God bless you all and grant you a joyous reunion!!!

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  12. Michelle Reitemeyer Avatar
    Michelle Reitemeyer

    {{hugs}} Hang in there.

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  13. Margaret in Minnesota Avatar
    Margaret in Minnesota

    I yelled at my kids before 9:00 a.m. and that was when their dad was HERE.
    Truly though, KC? I will be praying hard for you these next couple of weeks. Do go easy on yourself and be present to the beauty of the moment. God is good! Lean on Him, and lean on Mary.
    Love to all,
    Maggie in MN

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  14. Misty Jobe Avatar
    Misty Jobe

    KC I am so happy for you all that he is home. Deployment countdowns are scary!

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