Site Title

recent posts

about

Restless

For days now, I've been restless.  Feeling unsettled.  Worried almost.  I have barely been able to sit down and sew or knit.  My studio is once again a mess as I've flitted from one project to the next and not finishing hardly any of them.  

For weeks and months now, I've been reading about all the wonderful babies.  Babies who have come and babies who are coming.  Babies to moms who have struggled with wanting more but not yet having more.  

Please all my wonderful friends who are pregnant or have just had babies:  I am VERY HAPPY for you.  This is all about my feelings about myself.  I have loved seeing the new little ones popping up here and there in photos on the blogosphere.  I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of some more babies.  

However, I'm feeling somewhat lost.  Feeling a physical longing for another little one.  My heart just aches for another one.  I thought I had passed this stage.  

But, just now, I've had an epiphany.  It'll be three years tomorrow.  Three years since I lost my last baby.  It still hurts.  

Posted in ,

6 responses to “Restless”

  1. Denise Avatar
    Denise

    I’m so sorry. Miscarriage is so hard, a often-hidden sorrow because you were the only one to feel really close to your little one, and thus many people forget how real the baby is to you. Be extra good to yourself. I’ll pray for you. I’m sorry this is a time when your husband can’t be home.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    I’m so sorry KC…I understand. I think the body has a memory too, even when our mind isn’t thinking of it. I hope you can find some time to love yourself a little extra. (((((KC)))))

    Like

    Reply
  3. Jennifer in TX Avatar
    Jennifer in TX

    I think we’re in the same place. January is a TERRIBLE month for me. I lost my firstborn baby in January (he lived 20 hours, 12 minutes). And I also had a baby that I miscarried who was due this month. Just lots to offer up. I will pray for you, KC. It is so hard…but lots of grace amidst the crosses. 🙂 Hugs!

    Like

    Reply
  4. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    I’ve been there so many times, KC. Reading about yet another pregnancy on the internet always depressed me (even though, yes – I was happy for the moms-to-be too). I’m sorry. Hugs.

    Like

    Reply
  5. Misty Avatar
    Misty

    K.C. I’ve been there and share your pain. So many people don’t understand that the loss of a baby, regardless of how far along the pregnancy is, is still the loss of a child. When people find out they are pregnant, they rejoice! But if that child is lost, it seems as though the earlier it is in the pregnancy, the less we are expected to grieve. But wait! Yesterday it was a baby, but today it’s just a miscarriage!?!?! Hugs and prayers for you and all the moms who are longing to hold their babies.

    Like

    Reply
  6. Jess Avatar
    Jess

    praying for you dear friend

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Misty Cancel reply